About Decisions and Confessions
by ThisLadyWrites
Summary: Sharon tells Andy about her job offer and Provenza, once again, ignores his instructions. #Shandy
**Hello! Thanks to everyone who left a review on my last story! Your feedback always makes me smile and spurs me on to write even more, hence this little fanfic.**

 **I started writing this after 4x19 aired... The case is not much of a topic in this story but it is still happening in the background.**

 **This is not beta read. All mistakes are mine and mine alone. The characters however, are NOT mine but I love them as if they were ;)**

 **Warning: reading this may cause you to puke rainbows. #FluffAlert**

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 **About Decisions and Confessions**

They were sitting on a bench in Griffith Park when she told him. She was holding his hand, her fingers nervously playing with the gold chain around his wrist.

He was surprised about the news, he hadn't expected them. It made sense, though. Sharon was outstanding at her job. Of course she was getting offers from left and right, he was naive not to think so.

"I've got a week to decide." She said.

"Wow."

"I know."

"The NFL?"

"Yeah."

"That's big... Very big."

"It is..." The smile on her face slowly faded and was replaced by worry. "It would change quite a lot."

"It sure would." He agreed. "But it's an amazing opportunity."

"It requires a lot of traveling. I would be gone a lot."

"And when you are back we'll spend every minute together." He took both her hands in his, facing her.

She sighed as she put her forehead on his shoulder. "I love my current job and I love working with the team. But it's the NFL..."

"You would probably hang out with the Packers all the time." He let go of one of her hand and put his arm around her instead, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

She smirked. "Well I'd certainly be able to meet them every now and then. Ohhh Ricky and Emily would be so jealous."

"How many days a week would you be gone?" He asked.

"It depends. Probably between 3 to 5."

She could feel him stiffen a little, clearly not happy about the prospect of spending more than half a week without her, every week, of every month.

"Ok." He said calmly. "It's a lot... But we can make it work."

"Some weeks we'd hardly see each other." She pressed herself a little harder against his side. It was as if only the thought of being without him for such a long time was making her miss him already.

"We'll skype."

"And Rusty..."

"Rusty is perfectly capable to live on his own. Plus he has Gus now. And he can always call you... and me or Provenza... or anyone from the team really."

"I know..."

"So what's the problem?"

She shrugged. "Its just hard to let go of him... And it would be very hard to let go of this." She squeezed his hand. "Of having you around all the time."

"Listen Sharon." He softly cupped her chin, making her look at him. "Don't give up on a chance like this because of me or Rusty, ok? If you want this job, we'll make it work. We'll find a way. Damn it's the NFL! You could probably get us tickets to the Superbowl!"

"So that's why you want me to accept the offer." She teased with a smile.

"Yeah. What can i say? I'm selfish like that." He kissed her softly on the lips before he pulled back and now looked at her with a more serious expression. "Whatever you decide I'm ok with it and I'll support it, alright?"

She released a loud breath trough her lips, nodded and let her head fall back on his shoulder, taking in the scent of his aftershave. It smelled like home.

It was five days later when Provenza barged into her office, not bothering to knock or do anything else to inform her about his imminent arrival.

"How long do you plan to keep torturing that poor man?"

Sharon looked up from the file she was reading. "You'll have to be a little more specific lieutenant."

"Flynn. He is going insane."

"What's going on?" She wanted to know, sounding rather concerned.

"He keeps talking about this job offer you got and what an amazing opportunity it is and how he might retire soon so he can accompany you on some of your trips while at the same time he is worrying he'll be a burden..."

Sharon cuts him off: "Wait! What? Why would he want to retire?"

"Because he is an idiot! An idiot in love... Which is the worst kind of idiots." Provenza said grumpily as he all but threw an envelope on Sharon's desk.

"What is this?"

"The letter he wrote to you at the hospital, before his surgery. In case he wouldn't make it. Maybe this will make your decision easier."

She was surprised. He had written her a letter, he actually had prepared for the case he would not survive. He had been even more scared than he had let on. Just like she had been. They had pretended to be okay for the sake of each other but deep down they both had been terrified.

There suddenly was a lump in her throat. She didn't know what she would have done if something had happened, if all she had gotten after the surgery was his letter, instead of getting him back.

She swallowed, trying to get her emotions under control. "I don't think you are supposed to give this to me. Andy is ok. I should not read it without his consent."

The old men rolled his eyes, annoyed. "Your name is on it! So read it! And then tell him you are staying and relief him of his suffering. If I have to listen to his plans to retire and his fear to overwhelm you one more time I'll hit him with my stapler."

"Thank you for your concern over Andy, lieutenant but I can assure you there is nothing to worry about. I turned the job offer down this morning."

"You did?"

"Yes... But I honestly thought you'd have rooted for me to leave. You finally could have taken over Major Crimes and run things the way you like it."

"Are you kidding me? This job is the last thing I want. Reading files all day and never being in the filed? I'd die of boredom. Frankly I don't know how you survive it."

"I've got two lieutenants here that always keep me busy by creating trouble wherever they go." She smirked, took the envelope from her desk and was about to slip it into her purse.

"I think I better take this with me again." Provenza said, pointing at the letter.

"I don't think so." Sharon put it in her handbag which she zipped up afterwards.

"Was there anything else you needed, lieutenant?" She asked in that sweet but dangerous tone of hers.

"Damn!" Provenza thought. "Of all the people Flynn could fall in love with it had to be Raydor! What an idiot!"

When Sharon got home that evening Andy was already there. He had left about half an hour prior to her to get started on dinner. The last few days they had lived off take out and now they both were craving a proper homemade meal.

He only made simple spaghetti with a tomato-garlic sauce, some basil and mozzarella, but it was much better than anything they had eaten recently.

During dinner they mainly talked about work, something they usually avoided after hours. But their recent case was one big, complicated mystery that they just couldn't solve. So it was only natural that the topic would come up, even at home.

When they finished eating Sharon got up, took Andy's hand and pulled him with her into the living room. They would clean the table and the kitchen later. She wanted to talk to him first, wanted to get this big issue out of the way.

"Provenza came to talk to me today." She said once they both were sitting on the couch.

"Ok... And?"

"He said that you had mentioned something about retiring."

Andy sighed. "That idiot can't keep his mouth shut if his life depended on it!"

"I'm actually glad he didn't. Andy, what's going on? We have to talk about things like that."

"I know. I wasn't deciding anything yet. I was just thinking out loud ... Hoping to get some advice from my friend but he obviously is incapable of doing anything but rolling his eyes and rating me out!"

"What exactly have you been thinking about?" She wanted to know. She was not mad, not at all. Of course he could talk about big life decisions with his best friend before talking to her about it. It was only natural to ask for someone else' opinion but she just had wished she had got to know about it from him personally and rather than from Provenza.

"Look, with you gone most of the time I thought I could cut back on my hours or retire altogether. Then I'd have time to... come along when you travel. Not always of course... But every now and then. But of course I would have talked to you before deciding anything. I was just a little nervous about it. I was not sure whether you would even want me to accompany you." He looked rather cute when he was feeling insecure. A bit like a little boy.

"Andy" she said with a smile, taking his hand in hers, embracing his warm fingers. She was touched. Touched by how considerate he was and touched by how badly he wanted to be with her. "I'm not going anywhere."

"What do you mean?" He wasn't sure he understood. She was not just about to tell him that she declined the job offer, was she?

"I turned down the job."

He was relieved. And also upset. He wanted her to reach for the stars, to break every glass ceiling there was but he also wanted to put his arms around her every day, to hold her hand while they drove home after work and to drop by at her condo at some ungodly hour just to kiss her good night.

"Sharon... Are you really sure?"

"I am." The way she looked at him did not seem to hold any regret whatsoever.

"But you love football. And there is also the pay raise... "

"I love my current job too and I really don't care about the money. What I care about is you... And Rusty... And Major Crimes. I don't want to leave." She let go of his hand and instead started leaning into his side, her head resting on his shoulder.

"And that's really what you want?" He asked once again, putting his arm around her and tucking her head under his chin.

"It is." She assured. "And Unfortunately that means no Superbowl tickets for you."

He laughed, his body shook. "I got you. 24/7. That's way better."

"24/7 huh?"

"Well almost..."

Sharon sighed contently when Andy's hand moved to her hair, beginning to softly massage her scalp.

"This I really would have missed." She mumbled. "That and your foot rubs."

"Oh admit it, you just like me for my massaging skills."

"I'm busted." She joked, while snuggling even closer.

For a few moments they were quiet, just enjoying being together. Now that she had finally decided on what to do they were able to breath easier. The suspense had been rather nerve wrecking. For both of them.

"Andy?" Sharon said after a few quiet, peaceful moments.

"Hm?"

"Provenza gave me your letter."

Andy flinched and set up straight, looking at her. "Oh." Damn! That letter. He had been stupid not to get it back from the old guy after his surgery.

"I didn't read it." Sharon clarified immediately. "It didn't feel right to do it without your consent."

"I'm gonna kill him!" Andy said. He was not as mad as he wanted to be. Maybe it really was time for Sharon to read the letter, maybe afterwards it will be easier and less terrifying for him to admit its content out loud.

"He was worried about you. He thought reading that letter would make me stay which consequently would also make you stay. When I told him that I already declined the job offer he wanted to have the letter back but I decided this was not going to happen."

"And you really didn't read it?"

"Oh I wanted to, believe me. But it didn't feel right without asking you first... You wrote it in case you..." She couldn't say it. She just couldn't get it over her lips. "...In cause something went wrong. But it all worked out so..."

"Read it." He said, surprising himself.

"Are you sure?"

He nodded. "Nothing changed since then. What's in the letter was true back then and it's true today."

Sharon got up from the couch to retrieve the letter from her purse. She dropped down next to him again afterwards, opening the envelope with great care.

She removed the letter and looked at him one last time before she unfolded the piece of paper.

 _Dear Sharon,_

 _When you read this letter either something went wrong during the surgery or Provenza went against my instructions - once again - and gave you the letter anyway._  
 _I'm hoping for the latter but if that is not the case and I really bit the dust, I want you to know that I died happy. You made me happy. Happier than I remember ever being. The moment you came into my life you changed it, bit by bit. At first I didn't even notice it but then, one day, when we danced at Nicole's wedding, I realized that everything was better with you by my side. I was ecstatic when we started spending more time together, when we slowly went from friends, to best friends and then eventually to something more. To something way more._

 _Life has surprised me in many ways - good and bad - but no surprise was as big and as pleasant as falling in love with you. I have been terrified to say it, terrified to scare you off or to pressure you into saying it back when you are not ready for it. But dying without telling you seems by far the most terrifying thing, so I'll just say it:_  
 _I love you, Sharon. I love you with all I have._

 _Never stop smiling and be happy._

 _Always,_  
 _Andy_

By the time she finished the letter her heart was aching. Tears were threatening to fall and she let them. They ran down her rosy cheeks like raindrops on glass. One after another, some flowing into each other, creating a bigger drop but eventually continuing to roll down her perfect face.

Andy was still next to her, unsure of what to do. Should he say something? Should he pull her into his arms? Or was it better to give her some space, to let her digest what he had written?

She took the decision out of his hands as she turned to him properly, facing him. She clutched his hands. Her eyes roamed over his face before they settled on his.

He had the urge to wipe away her tears but she was still holding his hands, gripping them hard.

"I was so scared to lose you." She whispered through her tears.

"I know." He put his forehead on hers. "I know you were."

For a few moments they stayed like that, not saying anything.

"Tell me." Sharon suddenly broke the silence.

"What?" He wasn't sure what she meant.

"Tell me that you love me. I want to hear it."

He smiled, removing one of his hands from her grip and placing it on her cheek instead. "I do." He said, his voice low. "I love you, Sharon."

A warm feeling spread in her body that consumed every cell of her being. Her heart was racing, almost quelling over with happiness and love for this man sitting next to her.

Sharon returned his smile. She was beaming really, her emerald eyes glistening with tears.

She buried her face in the crock of his neck, her arms going around his middle. She took a deep breath, taking in his familiar scent.

"I love you too." She whispered against his skin. Then she broke away from him so she could look him in the eyes. "And I am not going anywhere."

 _"Yeah. She wasn't."_ He thought _. "Thank god."_

 **\- the end**

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